Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Other Testimony...

I guess for this part I should tell you a little about my pre college days. I was extremely tomboyish in my dress and care of looks...but I had a heart that wanted to be noticed and desired like most girls. I received very little attention from boys aside from friendship. I was one of the guys at all times. But having grown up with two sisters I had been schooled on the "disney princess" lifestyle and I knew how it was supposed to go. But for me no "suitors" came knocking at my door. I looked forward to college for this reason. I was excited to enter the "ocean" and leave the "pond". But as God would have it he did not intend for me to take this path.

About 4 months before I graduated a dear friend of mine showed me a verse she had been reading in Proverbs 31. I remember distinctly she said just read this verse... "she brings him good not harm all the days of her life." I said so what. She said read it I did. I was suddenly struck with the words of this sentence. ALL the days of her life. ALL. All...I had never really looked at this sentence before. Not like that anyhow. It struck me that my future spouse, whoever he may be, is currently living and breathing somewhere on this planet. That even apart from him I can do him harm. I can't tell you how this hit me. My first thought was oh geez...what does that mean for me. I wrestled with this for months before I started college. I didn't want to commit to what I believed God was calling me to. I had been looking forward to college for the side purpose of meeting boys I could date. But God would not relent. By the end of that summer I knew God had called me to live in a way that would "bring good not harm" to my future spouse. I decided that I was not going to date. Now at the age of 17 I can't say that I really knew what I was going to do instead...but I had this one thought. I was going to let God introduce me to my husband. Dating is the world's standard for marriage and I determined that I wanted God to arrange it. I wanted the story of how I got married to be a testimony to God. I wanted people to hear the story and say "wow there is no way that was coincidence."

Needless to say after I started college I did get offers. What I had always wanted and now it wasn't what I wanted. I guess I kept thinking that it would still happen in college...cause isn't that where everyone else meets their spouse? I finished school with a Bachelor's in Media Arts and Animation and no MRS Degree. I've been out of school for two years, and yes I am still single (hence the name of this blog ;) ).
I honestly don't know what God has planned for me on this particular subject. And I have no idea why I am writing a blog about it and my journey through it. This is usually something that you see books written about after it's all said and done. I feel extremely inadequate in this. I'm not studied or learned in Biblical Knowledge or Grammar...But here we are.

I just want to encourage all the girls out there who are trying to live lives that are pleasing to the Lord. I know how tough some of those days get. For all the single girls out there who struggle with lonliness...I know, you aren't alone.

So it begins.

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