Thursday, August 16, 2012

the one about life...

Have you ever just stepped back and looked at all the mountains in your path? The ones that look like you need to be a professional hiker to even consider climbing, with a PHD in survival to make it to the other side? The ones that go so high up into the clouds you'd need an army of oxygen tanks just to breathe?

Sometimes the mountains only feel this monumental from our perspective from inside the bottom of the ravine before it.

I wouldn't say that I'm standing at the lowest part of my life or that the mountain is this huge for me. But I will say that the panic I'm feeling now that I've been told I must climb it, that there's no other way, is about as epic as if the mountains were all of these things and had grinning fangs plastered across it ready to swallow me at the first sign of weakness.

Sometimes at these moments when things seem so far out of your reach or control you just want to curl up and pretend it doesn't exist. You want to walk around in a few large circles trying to convince yourself and God that you are doing something important, just to put off the climb for a little bit longer.

But eventually God stops your ridiculous pacing and calls you to it. To the task he's set before you. And suddenly it's as if you've never heard the word Faith before, trust is a distant memory, and all those times God has proven himself to you before vanish like an expelled breath.

This is where I'm at. That moment. I've got absolutely nothing. No plan, no PHD in survival of life, no offering.

But this I have, I have a God who cares for me. What more could we possibly need?

This verse has been speaking, and speaking to me over weeks. I've been sending it to friends because it is so applicable to life. This is where I keep finding myself and all I can do is remind myself who God is and who I am to him.

"For you are my lamp, O Lord, and my God lightens my darkness. For by you I can run against a troop, and by my God I can leap over a wall. THIS GOD - his way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him." - 2 Samuel 22:29-31

It's amazing how my mountain becomes an anthill in light of this verse.