So life has stepped up it's game lately and bombarded me with as much as it possibly could. If life had a fast forward button...someone just pushed mine. What with work, freelance, travel, and friends it seems like I've barely had time to breathe.
One thing that I am disappointed to admit to though is that I have neglected my time with God. For the last few weeks I have been running on the last dregs of my energy and trying to get everything all finished on my own power. My family can tell you the person I become in those days. Just call me Oscar the Grouch. Everything effects my emotions, and my state of mind. If traffic stinks, the rest of the day I'm touchy. If my sister looks at me funny, I want to pick her eyeballs out with chopsticks. God forbid if anyone disagrees with me, because then all my wrath comes down in a flaming ball of harsh words and red face. If I spend one day without someone talking to me or responding to me (and I work from home so this is completely plausible) then I am thrown into a deep and spiraling pit of self loathing, loneliness, and desperation for things that I don't need.
Perhaps you know these days as well. My mentor travels and speaks at women's conferences on occasion, and last month I had the opportunity to travel with her. She was talking through her testimony. Not one of drugs and rebellion, or horrible childhood home life, but one of a lifetime of just surviving the Christian life. Relying on conferences, bible studies, and speakers to give us spiritual highs to help hold us over till the next conference, bible study, or speaker. It's a tale most of us "good Christians" can identify with. The cyclical process of relying on everyone else for our spiritual growth. But the main point she makes is how we all have a cup that we carry around with us, and we want everyone else to fill it for us so that we can be who we are supposed to be and do what we are supposed to do. You see that way it's never our fault for being cranky and hard to live with, it's everyone else's fault for not being the people of God we need them to be. If everyone else would just do what they were supposed to do, then I could do what I'm supposed to do and be who I'm supposed to be. It's God's fault he hasn't brought me a man yet, cause once I get married then I can be the woman of God that I need to be and go and do the stuff God wants me to do.
Do you see the problem yet? She talked about how when we start our day out allowing God to fill us through his word, then there is an overflow effect. Our cup is full and we just spill over into everyone else's lives that we interact with. We are running off the fullness of God in our hearts and so we aren't weary and tired and grouchy. It's no longer an inconvenience to deal with the long line at the store, or the insane traffic, or irritating family members, whiny kids, demanding bosses, or any number of irritations that are thrown in our paths as we go about our day. These things become opportunities to show the love of God that has filled us. To share that with everyone around us.
For my single friends out there...when we allow God to fill us with his word everyday, the loneliness ebbs, the desperation to find someone before we hit 30 softens into a slightly occasional thought that flies through your head and burns out in light of the immense opportunities that God has placed before you now as a single person.
A friend of mine sent me this link today and all I could say was "YES! I like it!" so I'm going to share it with you.
http://gracefortheroad.com/2012/02/03/idontwait/
